A Neglected Key to Longevity

At this point in my life, my number one health goal is longevity. It’s the most frequent health topic I Google. (How to reduce postmenopausal belly fat comes in a close second.) Being a health-conscious midlife woman and Certified Health Coach, I make it a point to keep up with the current research, advice, and science regarding nutrition, exercise, and emotional wellbeing. The current expert health advice for us midlife women is to consume more protein and build muscle for metabolic health and longevity.

Science backs up this trend. A recent study found that women who do strength training exercises two to three times a week are more likely to live longer and have a lower risk of death from heart disease compared to women who don’t. Strength training activates longevity pathways, protects mitochondria, and triggers the release of hormone-like compounds that reduce inflammation and enhance brain function. And adequate protein consumption is needed in order to support muscle growth.

A recent family visit, however, got me thinking beyond eating more protein and lifting dumbbells in my quest for long-term health. I was struck by an often overlooked but extremely important component to any longevity program: Connection.

Enhancing our relationships and finding and making time to get together can be a challenge. It takes effort and commitment. But the rewards and benefits can’t be measured. Researchers agree that social connection can help people live longer, healthier lives by buffering stress, improving mental and physical health, enhancing immune function, and reducing the risk of chronic disease and premature death. Strong social ties reduce rates of depression and anxiety, and foster resilience.

I was excited and energized a full week before our recent family visit. My husband’s sister from South Africa would be staying with us, and his son and girlfriend were driving up from Florida to visit as well. We cleaned the house from top to bottom, put fresh sheets on the beds, and stocked the refrigerator and pantry with food and drink. But as the date for the family visit drew near, I felt pressured. I’d never entertained that many overnight guests at one time in my home before, and as hostess, I knew I’d be on the go from morning till night, making sure everyone was comfortable, happy, and well-fed.

But once everyone arrived, my nerves quickly faded. The succeeding days flowed smoothly, effortlessly, with much congenial conversation and laughter. We shared quiet mornings sitting on the porch, pizza and ice cream, drives in the Virginia countryside, a visit to a peach orchard, and refreshing floats in the lake. Instead of feeling tired from all the hosting activities, I felt happy, uplifted, joyful. There was an unspoken bond of love, respect, and warmth in our home and our interactions that was truly special and nourishing. The closeness I felt to my husband’s family was palpable and real. It made me yearn for a deeper connection to my mother who is currently living in a memory care facility 2,500 miles away.

After everyone was gone, leaving only my husband and myself sitting in silence on the porch the next morning with our coffee, there was a void in the house, and an emptiness in my heart. My mind and mood were noticeably subdued. I realized on a visceral level the vital importance of connection to overall health and wellbeing.

Not only do our connections fill our hearts with love and goodwill, they also stimulate our minds, and infuse us with positive energy. Spending a day or evening with friends, family, or nature can shake up the same old tedious patterns and routines of daily living, revitalize the soul, and provide opportunities for interesting conversation, personal growth, and of course the potential for laughter—one of the best medicines.

When we think of health and longevity, diet and exercise are usually the first things that come to mind. But if we want to strive to live a long and happy life, we can’t neglect our relationships—our connections to friends, loved ones, animals, and the natural world.

This recent family visit reminded me that strengthening our relationships is just as important (if not more important) than strengthening our muscles and consuming more protein in order to live a long and happy life.

Although my recent family visit left a hole in my heart, I hope to fill it by nurturing my existing relationships, and strengthening and maintaining those connections well into my later years. For me, it can be as easy as picking up the phone to say “hi” to an old friend, inviting a neighbor to lunch, paying an overdue visit to a family member, or giving my husband an extra hug. With no sweat or heavy lifting involved!