Focus on What You Love

Recently, a headline popped up in my news feed that made me think seriously about a possibility I’d considered only once before in my life: moving to another country. The accompanying article advertised abandoned real estate for sale in Sardinia, an island off the coast of Italy. The big enticement: these properties were selling for only 1 euro. Enticement number two: sunny Italy. Enticement number three: Sardinia happens to be one of the Blue Zones.

The Blue Zones were made famous 20 years ago by Dan Buettner, an explorer, National Geographic Fellow, award-winning journalist, and bestselling author. His mission was to travel the world and discover which countries had the longest-lived people, and why. He and his team identified five regions where, not only did people live longer, but also enjoyed a high quality of life into their old age. (Sign me up!) The five Blue Zone regions are: Okinawa, Japan; Sardinia, Italy; Nicoya, Costa Rica; Ikaria, Greece; and Loma Linda, California.

As a mid-life woman trying to stay healthy, fit, and happy for many more years to come, I’ve always been fascinated by the lifestyles of Blue Zone populations. Four of the five Blue Zones are islands whose populations follow mostly traditional diets and lifestyles, a difficult task to emulate here in the United States, and in the modern world in general. But I try my best. I grow a vegetable garden each year and eat lots of plants. I emphasize walking and movement, socialize with friends, and try to keep to the 80% rule to stop eating when I’m 80% full. To some extent, I’m practicing some of what Buettner calls the “Power 9″—evidence-based common denominators of the longest-lived and happiest peoples. To read more about the “Power 9” click here.

I wasn’t surprised to feel a strong attraction to living as an expat on a beautiful, island off the coast of Italy, and a Blue Zone to boot! I imagined myself breathing clean air, relaxing under the sun, eating fresh food, drinking local wine, spending more time walking and biking, celebrating my hundredth birthday, and belonging to a happy, welcoming community where people live to a ripe old age and enjoy a high quality of life. The more I thought about the possibility of my husband and myself buying an old “fixer-up” in a Sardinian village, packing up our belongings and leaving the United States behind, the more I got excited about the prospect. Still, I had to ask myself, “What am I running away from?”

The answers were clear. I’m angry about the direction my country is headed. And I’m worried. I think many of us are worried. Our country is split in half with views so far apart I can only hope and pray we’re able at some point to find common ground and move our country forward. I’m worried that anger, hatred, and violence are becoming normalized. I’m afraid the justice system and the rule of law are either broken or in peril. I worry the guardrails protecting our national security are eroding. I worry about a potential collapse of our economy, the safety of our retirement savings, and the future of my healthcare. I fear fairness and kindness are losing the good fight, and greed and power are winning. I’m worried that the billionaires of this country could become the oligarchs of the future. Women in this country have suffered a terrible blow to their freedom, and I’m worried more citizens’ rights could be stripped away. I’m worried for our kids and grandkids. What kind of world will they inherit? Will climate change destroy our dear mother earth? Or will a nuclear holocaust get us first? Will artificial intelligence do away with all the writers and artists? Or will this new technology someday go rogue and take control of us humans like the super-computer Hal in the movie 2001?

Of course all these thoughts are just worried speculation. No one knows the future, and nothing in life is certain. Feeling somewhat powerless at my age to make any meaningful societal change, I’ve concluded that all I can do at this point is navigate my own path through this crazy, unbelievable, worrisome maze, while trying to keep my anger at bay.

But how does a person live a happy and fulfilling life amidst all the stresses, fears, and chaos of a divided, hostile, often dangerous environment? Perhaps running away to Sardinia, to a simpler, healthier lifestyle where I can ignore the hatred and division of the modern American culture and hide away from the potential apocalypse I envision may not be the best answer.

A better answer came to me one bright fall afternoon while my husband and I were out for a drive. That morning, I’d mentioned the article about the abandoned 1 euro properties in Sardinia to my husband. As the car meandered down the winding country lane, we seriously discussed the pros and cons of leaving the country and moving to Italy. The foliage was at its spectacular peak: a canopy of various shades of golds, mauves, and corals lined both sides of the road bordering acres of still green fields. As I looked out the window, I marveled at the sun’s light upon the colorful landscape, and was overcome by my home state’s natural beauty and grandeur. I smiled, turned to my husband and said, “I’m sure Sardinia is beautiful. But I love Virginia.” Then I added, “And I love our home. I love our community. I love my family and friends. And I love you.” It was then that it hit me. The antidote to all the hatred, anger, negativity, and worry—and the way to keep my own anger at bay, is to focus on love. A Buddhist teacher I once knew taught that whenever we come across any negative or unwholesome emotion, to cultivate its opposite. When we feel sad, cultivate happiness. We we feel stressed, practice relaxation. When we feel fear, embrace courage. And when we feel anger or hatred, cultivate love.

During this holiday season is the perfect time of year to commit to embracing love and loving-kindness. We can truly practice “being” peace on earth. We can actively show goodwill toward men and women and children in our thoughts and deeds. In our interactions and personal relationships, if we speak from a place of love and act from a place of love we’ll never go wrong. And we’ll worry a lot less. Anger will melt away. I know it’s wishful thinking, but if everyone in the world could practice loving-kindness on a regular basis, who knows? We all might be able to get along, and possibly save the planet.

Nothing in this life is certain. The only certainty is that everything changes. So, maybe things will change for the better. There’s still hope. Going forward, when worry or anger about an uncertain, scary future clouds my mind, whether I’m living in Virginia or Sardinia or anyplace else in the world, I’m going to take a deep breath, open my heart, and focus on what I love.